


decked in the fkn face.

by kanging_hyunnie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Confrontations, Family, M/M, Realisations, Self projection, Turmoil, Violence, Yes., and curse words, but this fic is about seungmin decking him so, his name is not mentioned, it's quite minor, not the nice kind, oh there might be curses, read with caution, the ex member is talked about, yes i know this is very late, yes this is me projecting into seungmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27285034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanging_hyunnie/pseuds/kanging_hyunnie
Summary: the anger was at the words directed at his team and his lover.and Seungmin was never a calm person in the face of absolute bullshit.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 4
Kudos: 102





	decked in the fkn face.

**Author's Note:**

> warning: wj is not mentioned with his name, I tried to use "the oldest member" everywhere. but if this is still triggering, do not proceed to read. this is just me projecting into seungmin because my anger was really high the day the news broke and well, they said Minnie wanted to punch him and I thought, oh, what if he did and this fic happened.

Seungmin prided himself in being the one who could read them all, it was a fact. He was the smartest, and his silence helped him be more observant. He had noticed when Chan started spending too long in the studio, when Felix started disappearing along with him, both coming back in the early wee hours of the morning, hushed whispers and face splitting grins. Frankly, everyone knew Chan was infatuated with the sunshine, but only he knew (way before the pair too maybe) that the feelings were indeed mutual. He knew about Changbin and Hyunjin too, long before the oblivious idiots had realised that they were far too emotionally constipated, perhaps not more than Minho and Jisung, but constipated nonetheless. He knew what was happening and he could read body languages far too easily. 

Which is why anyone could understand the utter shock that ran through his mind and quite obviously showed in his face when the news was broken on the meeting table. How did he miss this? How did he fail to see the tense relations between every member of his own family and the oldest? How did he fail to understand that Minho’s biting words towards the member were not out of his usual sarcasm but from pure anger? How did he not notice his leader falling apart under the strains of self-blame? How did he not notice the way Changbin clearly avoided each and every interaction with that member? How did he not notice the way Jisung was clearly getting worse? How did he not notice the glares Felix sent every time that member crossed his path? How could he not notice the way Hyunjin was clearly uncomfortable and would always stick to Changbin instead? And Jeongin, how could he not notice poor little Jeongin?  
He looked down at the table in front of him, counting the lines in its peeled wooden side. He remembers when Hyunjin had accidentally cut his little pinkie through the jagged edge and how Changbin immediately tended to his “dramatic baby”, as Jisung would call him, while Chan set to work to smoothen out the small burrs that stood out. He remembers how Felix was laughing loudly and how Jeongin sat in the corner, in his arms, simply judging his brothers. He wracks his brain to try and remember where the oldest member was in this time, but he comes up with nothing. He cannot remember a time the oldest was with them and it was a beautiful memory and it wasn’t in front of a thousand cameras. How did he never notice that? 

The table started to blur in front of him as the member he looked up to, whose voice was so heavenly, he believed himself to be inferior; spoke of the things he had done. How could someone be so different from what one believed? How could one not see things the way they are when they’re right in front of them? Seungmin couldn’t seem to understand if what he believed was wrong, or if he was truly fooled. Things were starting to look so ugly and it wasn’t even midnight yet. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jisung unable to hear anymore and run out of the room. His conscious was yelling at him to go behind his best friend, but somehow he remained rooted to his chair, his heart wanting to just how wrong he was about the oldest. Minho ran after him soon after anyway, so he breathed a sigh of relief to himself. Blinking back the tears, he looked up into the face of the man he held so dear.  
But he couldn’t even recognise him anymore. 

Gone were the homely whiskers on his cheeks and the kindness in his eyes, the man in front of Seungmin only had cold, unforgiving eyes and a face which screamed no regrets. The man in front of him had no gratefulness to his voice, no sorrow in his eyes, and no guilt in his shoulders. One look to his right and anyone could see the guilt lying unfairly on the wrong shoulders, on Chan’s shoulders. Seungmin wasn’t feeling the tears anymore, a raging storm started to brew in him, unsatisfied, roaring and so angry. The sufferings of his family were now catching up to him and he could almost hear the gut-wrenching cries of his best friend in the washrooms next door. But the man at the head of the table seemed unbothered; he couldn’t care less about the havoc he would leave this group in. His group, his leader, his brothers. People who were supposed to be home to him. How could someone be so cold?

“Chan, come on, you know you failed right? You think you could hide behind Felix’s arms and hide away from how terribly you’ve failed this group?”

Chan visibly shuddered next to Felix whose entire body looked as if he had been drenched in cold water. Seungmin could feel the tension in the room rise to levels where he was so sure he could break a table. Or the member’s face. He painfully gripped the table harder, his knuckles turning white. Chan was a good man; he was the best in Seungmin’s eyes. He was someone who could never do anyone wrong, someone who was so strong yet so fragile; one blow at his team and the man would shatter. This team was Chan’s strongest pride, but also his most obvious weakness. For the oldest to say those words were to feed right into the leader’s insecurities. But he wasn’t done.

“Hyunjinnie? Really? Maybe Jisung should’ve really shown you your place those days, you still don’t realise how bad you are, do you?” 

The words spoken were so harsh in tone when used with the sickly sweet nickname everyone used for the member in question. Changbin held onto the member in question, growling under his breath at the man he respected as his oldest. Hyunjin whimpered at the words, clutching tighter onto Changbin’s arms.

“Keep that attitude down, you’re going to get in serious trouble” 

Felix’s voice rang out in the silent room, saving the whimpers and sobs occasionally. His voice was laced with thinly veiled anger, Felix looked like he could kill. 

He felt disgusted at the member's actions, even if the member in question seemed to be confessing his crimes as if he was telling glorious stories of war. Where had things gone wrong? How did everything come to this? But it seemed like things were about to get a lot worse. 

They were in the middle of promotions; they had a whole album laid out in front of them, a whole photo book printed, group pictures taken, an entire District 9 Unlock Tour coming up. Seungmin could see the gears churning in Chan’s head, the way the leader was clearly panicking over the number of things that would have to be redone in the shortest amounts of time possible. He ran the number of hours the three members would sleep now that things had gone south and Seungmin was genuinely concerned when the number boiled down to mere fingers on one hand. Anyone could guess that this whole fiasco would mean that the three would be spending almost zero to no hours sleeping, trying to get the album reworked upon easily. His thoughts were disrupted by Minho slamming the door open, a murderous look in his eyes. Chan grew alarmed instantly, and he and Changbin practically flew to Minho’s side.  
“You made fun of his anxiety?” the silence was deafening. Jisung’s anxiety was not an unknown topic, but it was a conversation they didn’t sit down at dinners or meeting tables and have; they were mostly reserved for late-night confessions over a beer as a group. Once again, Seungmin tried his hardest to remember his oldest member’s familiar face at these conversations but he came up with short of nothing. The thoughts made him all the more irritated, where had his entire attention been diverted towards? He saw Felix flinch at the unanswered question and a prickle of annoyance rose through the back of his neck; did Felix know about all this? Why didn’t he tell him? It appeared as if Jeongin had the same thoughts because Seungmin found himself a companion in glaring at Felix with complete agony and pain etched bright as day in their eyes. Upon the feeling is their glares, Felix looked towards the members, meeting the eyes of his best friend and youngest for a second before tears began making their way down his freckled face and a choked sob made its way out of his throat. 

Felix was crying.

Their sunshine was crying.

How much had he endured to cry this way? How many nights did he lay awake quelling the rising insecurities of his leader? How many nights did Felix have someone to tell him that his insecurities weren’t true? How many nights did Jisung cry himself to sleep, tossing and turning, and reeling in his plummeting self worth? Seungmin felt like a fool and the urge to punch a table was just getting worse until the oldest spoke of the bars. The bars they were forbidden to enter, the bars they were told would mean an immediate expulsion, the bars that would immediately mean removal from the group and being blacklisted in the industry. They were all well aware of this, so then why? Why did he put his own wishes and needs before his responsibilities as the main vocalist of the group? Seungmin’s mind began shelving through the various things the group would undergo after his removal because he knew the boss wouldn’t take the eldest’s actions too kindly. His own insecurities held onto the pointers of his fingers, digging into his neck, making it hard to breathe. He knew he wasn’t good enough and it would take way too long to ever be good enough. He didn’t even realise when his fists balled up until he felt a hand laid itself gently on his shoulder. He turned around to meet Jeongin’s eyes and he felt another piece of his heart shatter. The youngest looked broken, his hands shaking, his entire body screaming to be held. But Seungmin couldn’t do it, he couldn’t reach out and hold the trembling boy into his arms, give him the comfort the youngest needed the most right now. Jeongin must’ve read it in his eyes because the younger was immediately covering his ears as if that would curb the storm in his heart at the words from the oldest member’s mouth. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Seungmin gently held onto Jeongin’s hands and turned his head towards the perfectly familiar yet unfamiliar stranger at the head of the table, to find the latter’s eyes already zeroed in on their interaction. Seungmin would’ve let that be the end of things if only the oldest member hadn’t uttered the words he did after. 

“How are you two incapable vocalists supposed to handle the vocals of this group? Give up Innie, you know you cant do it” 

Jeongin was the groups’ baby. He was honestly everyone’s baby. Anyone who looked at him wanted to pull his cheeks, give him head pats, poke his dimples or boop his nose. Hyunjin loved Innie like his own younger brother, always making sure the youngest was well fed well-rested. The skinship trio of Felix, Jisung and Hyunjin too often indulged the youngest in his games, while the older ones cared for him in their own little ways. Chan saw something in Innie all those years back and he knew he wanted him on the team. Seungmin would never doubt the leader’s choices, and upon closer interactions, he knew exactly why the youngest was chosen.

But even if Jeongin was everyone’s baby, for Seungmin, he was the entire world. 

He couldn’t imagine not waking up to his eyes, filled with all the stars in the universe. He couldn’t imagine not listening to his melodic voice as he serenaded Seungmin to sleep. 

Red. The only colour Seungmin saw was red. And the only thing he can recall is the loud slamming of the chair as he stood up and the loud crunch of bones as his fist connected with the oldest, and now thankfully their ex-member’s nose. Pure white flashes of pain went up his arm and the ringing in his ears did not curb until he looked into the eyes of the member and saw no regret or guilt in his eyes.

“You’ve said enough, now leave.” 

They’d be alright. Seungmin would hold his entire team with his bare hands if that’s what it needed, but in that moment he knew, this team was his and that he was never ever going to let any harm befall on them ever again.  
.  
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(and if god looked down upon them and gave them a sign to hold on through their success of Levanter, no one would be any wiser)

**Author's Note:**

> constructive criticism is appreciated, dont come at me without reading the tags or notes at the beginning.


End file.
